Monday, April 12, 2010

"Round Up the Usual Suspects"

During my fast, I was supposed to meditate on all the reasons I was unhealthy and figure out why I wanted to change. I didn't think too long. I knew I wasn't doing it for someone or something (like the black dress I bought over Christmas), I was doing it for me. I was tired of being unhealthy, it's as simple as that. (Plus, I was slightly horrified by what was happening to my food.)

I also skipped the food diary bit. When Mireille Guiliano asked me to "round up the usual suspects," I became bored. I knew what my problem areas were, and I was ready to jump to the part about fixing everything. But because I have problems jumping around in books, I sat and read the whole thing. I'm glad I did. As previously mentioned, Mireille (I've decided we're on a first name basis) does not necessarily encourage cutting everything out. Which is good since I've never been good at stopping things I like.

You might begin by asking, "What could I live without- or at least with less of?" Is the thought of those two cosmos at quitting time the only thing getting you through your day? How would one suit you? Or skipping every third day? Do you ask the waiter for more bread before he has even brought your order? You might find one slice savored slowly with dinner just as satisfying, or you might just as easily wait for your appetizer. Do you finish every French fry on your plate?

So nothing about this is radical, which I really like. I was already trying to figure out when I was hungry and when I wasn't, but this seemed to help. I'm not sure why, but this gave me permission to leave food on my plate, to say no to another drink. I'm sure it was because I was already attempting it before, but this just reaffirmed my new-found beliefs.

I love bread and sweets way more than I should, and I wasn't giving them up. I just adopted a better standard. I made my own bread (which was delicious), and when I was out in a restaurant, I only ate it if I absolutely loved it. Same with sweets, minus the making at home. Because sweets were definitely on my no list for fear of binging, I refused to make them at home, and I would only eat them when I went out at restaurants. Also, if I wasn't in love with them, I couldn't order them. So when I went to Potbelly's, I allowed myself a cookie because they're so amazing, but I didn't get one at Roti because, even though they're good, they don't make me get all warm and fuzzy.

The best part of this is that because I was cooking at home, I didn't go out and eat much anymore. I brought my breakfast and lunch to work, and I cooked dinner at home. And I was perfectly content (minus the random cravings I would still occasionally get on the train ride home).

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